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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
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1.
i was told that hope's a fragile thing, and i suppose it's true but i'm afraid that i've accepted it and i'm trying not to be completely helpless all the time but it's not so easy taking my own advice cause i'm just trying to feel anything go ahead, treat me like i'm only worth the hours i run in circles until i fall down i can't keep fighting everything pulling threads, screaming until my lungs give out it's just another morning to wake up i don't know the difference between letting go and giving up there's no time to take care of myself and nothing's good enough god i hate that i'm dissociating again pouring over every ending with a morbid curiosity should i even pretend to be surprised about it? cause i'm just trying to feel anything go ahead, treat me like i'm only worth the hours i run in circles until i fall down i can't keep fighting everything pulling threads, screaming until my lungs give out it's just another morning to wake up
2.
tell me what would you become if you could make the most of life if you didn't have to sell a hundred thousand hours of time up your dose of caffeine every year self medicated cheap thrills to recover sunday morning not a second left to kill if you want to clean the dishes off your table was this some grand idea? who ever wanted all of this? living a lie pretending to be happy for yourself eyes adjusting to the LEDs distractions from the evening news it's as manufactured as consent to crimes we never knew what i wouldn't give to see the burden lifted off your shoulders maybe life could be a little bit less colder was this some grand idea? who ever wanted all of this? living a lie pretending to be happy for yourself something's got to change now none of us deserve to be consumed living a lie something in the air just tastes so bitter living a lie pretending to be happy
3.
Burnout 03:09
i took a deal with a devil's advocate thinking i would keep one step ahead he promised it'd be cool if i were constantly spinning my wheels out, running on empty now listen closely he said to me don't ever put your head down, and you'll be alright but when i'm grounded in my body with the breaths that i take it only serves to remind me of everything i hate whether it's the ringing in my ears or any other sound i get the same metallic taste in my mouth if i'm good for something why do i feel like less than nothing? don't ever put your head down, and you'll be alright well i never put my head down, and i'm not alright don't ever put your head down
4.
Sidewalks 02:49
breathing in and breathing out i think therefore i am in doubt whether confidence or pride i'm left alone again tonight what the hell am i still doing sitting here inside? walking the same frozen sidewalks stuck to the path i made would you consider me a friend or is this where we just pretend? it's just another empty weekend feels like everybody's leaving so what the fuck am i still doing here? walking the same frozen sidewalks stuck to the path i made was there a point of no returning no chances left to take and all this is is that i'm scared of changing anything at all but i can't help but feel like i've become invisible walking the same frozen sidewalks stuck to the path i made walking the same frozen sidewalks stuck to the path i made was there a point of no returning no chances left to take and all this is is that i'm scared of changing anything at all but i can't help but feel like i've become invisible
5.
Standby 03:56
i attend three rehearsals a week digging for some real emotion some of which i keep not on the playbill again tonight's just not my night and i don't know my lines just put me on standby it's not my time backstage with eyes closed hoping it'll be a good show i think i'm catching a theme waiting for what would be my scene wondering why it's not me 3am making faces in the mirror is it funny that the more i cry the less i seem sincere? not on the playbill again gonna give it another try but i'm not first in line just put me on standby it's not my time backstage with eyes closed hoping it'll be a good show just put me on standby it's not my time backstage with eyes closed hoping it'll be a good show i think i'm catching a theme waiting for what would be my scene wondering why it's not me final curtain call they wonder why i'm standing so tall doors closing today a chance to find a new part to play but for the perfect story i will wait just put me on standby it's not my time backstage with eyes closed hoping it'll be a good show just put me on standby it's not my time backstage with eyes closed hoping it'll be a good show
6.
Imposter 04:04
make your case for why i'm just making this up is the makeup coming off? or was it an afterthought? i've been keeping up these appearances it's how i've been hardwired but i'm so fucking tired cause part of me is make believe i'm not the person you think that i should be and then you say that i'm just so tired i must not be thinking straight but i still feel like an imposter dress me up but please don't you make me look cause i don't like the things i see is this who i'm supposed to be? please stop letting me off the goddamn hook as long as i can remember it doesn't get much better cause part of me is make believe i'm not the person you think that i should be and then you say that i'm just so tired i must not be thinking straight i don't feel like i belong here i still feel like an imposter

credits

released September 15, 2023

kailyn - vocals, guitar, bass on Standby
johnny - guitar, drums
maddie - bass

recorded and mixed by kailyn grider
mastered by abe anderson
artwork by zoe challenger

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The Briefly Gorgeous Minneapolis, Minnesota

indie rock from minneapolis. kailyn (she/they), johnny (he/him), maddie (any), al (he/him)

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